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Moving through this world as a Black woman can feel like an increasingly difficult thing at times. Between constantly advocating for our respect on one hand and dealing with our own internal battles on the other, it’s a lot. The recent tragedies of two black women have been on my mind heavy as of late. The untimely passing of both Lauren Smith Fields and Chelsie Kryst in these past few weeks have caused me pause.
Being alive in this world comes with pressure and struggle, but it is an entirely different experience altogether as a black woman.
I think about Lauren’s story. She was a 22 year old college student with a world of dreams and aspirations in front of her. She worked out every day, was on a plant-based diet, and had her own business in her home. Lauren was what so many young beautiful Black women are in the early 20’s are when we are exploring our world around us. She was found dead with drugs consistent with date rape in her system after a Bumble date with a white man and the world didn’t even blink. It took two months for the story to even circulate in the media, a stark contrast from just a couple months ago with the story of Gabby Petito, a white woman who was killed by her boyfriend on a cross-country road trip. Unsurprisingly, Lauren has been painted as everything, but the victim.
I also think about Chelsie’s story. On the outside looking in, she seemingly had it all. She was a gorgeous 30 year old former MISS USA 2019, civil litigation lawyer, social justice advocate, and entertainment correspondent. She was one of the good ones with unmistakeable light, drive, and purpose. Simultaneously, she also struggled with high functioning depression, something that she kept from even her closest family members and friends. She died by suicide after falling from her New York high-rise.
Black women don’t have nearly enough safe places.
Where do we go for justice? Where do we go for peace of mind? Why does our society often exclude us of those experiences? How do we collectively begin to change the narrative, love, and care we hold for Black women? These are the questions that I search for answers daily. We need those answers and those spaces.
We shouldn’t have to organize protests and create social media firestorms for proper investigations to be launched. Black women also shouldn’t be so high-functioning that nobody even notices that we’re burnt out until its too late. We shouldn’t be ignored or overlooked. Black women should be given uninterrupted space to exist, be seen, and treated as human. We are most deserving of respect, compassion, and care.
Our society must actively work to protect Black women.
It’s a difficult truth, but our society has always made it a point to treat Black women like second-class citizens. It’s past time to challenge that treatment without hesitation or fear. We must be diligent in our effort to create and foster safe places for Black women to understand, process, and share our emotions. This isn’t just work for Black women to undertake, it’s work for us all. The sooner we all do our part to protect Black women, the better the world will be for Black women, and consequently, for us all.
XOXO
Elayne MeShell