Sigh. So you’re back at square one with a pocket full of feelings and no sense of direction huh? It happens to the best of us sis. I know we like to think that if it doesn’t work out with someone then we’ll just bounce back and get back into the groove of things. And, actually, that may be the case for some people. More power to yall! But for those of us who need a bit more time to lick our wounds, there are some things you can do in the meantime to help you move on. It won’t be easy, but it doesn’t have to be a completely dreadful process. Check out a few tips on how to get over him and get back to being the star of your own show!
Night Out with the Girls
There is nothing like your girls! They’re you’re biggest cheerleaders and nobody is going to have your best interest at heart more than they will. They are team YOU from beginning to end. So call them! How many of us would let our good sis sit around sad and lonely? Hopefully none of us! It’s okay to call in the reinforcements sometimes. Your girls will remind you of how insanely beautiful and talented you are and how anybody would be lucky to have you. Believe me, when you’re getting over him, having a professional hype man (woman) in your corner is everything. So put on your freakum dress, beat your face, and slay into the night baby girl ’cause you definitely still got it!
Social Media Scrub
Delete! Delete! Delete! Yes you read that right. Some may call this a bit extreme, but hey, it’s effective. Do you still have messages in your phone between you two? Are you still following him on social media? If so, why? No, really…why? Sometimes we close doors but we don’t lock them because we think there’s a possibility we may need to go back and lurk through them. There was a time before social media when you broke up with a person and all of your access to them ceased. There was no page for you to visit, no message thread for you to re-read and rightfully so! That is self torture sis! You can’t move on from him if you’re always reminding yourself of him. Do the hard thing. Delete him. It might bother you for a moment, but the peace you get in the end is unmatched
Self “Loathing” Day
Because sometimes you just need a day (or two) to be in your feelings. You have to work through those painful thoughts of not being enough, what you could have done differently, why he didn’t care like you did, etc. Eventually you come back to your senses and start recognizing the queen in the mirror again, but it’s OKAY to admit you are hurting and that’s not who you feel like today. Girl, grab your robe and fuzzy socks, your favorite ice cream, get into this playlist, and let the feels roll in. This is a great time to journal and write it all out. And when you feel better, the world will be waiting on you :).
Get Under Someone New
This is age old advice for a reason! At some point, you have to get back out there. You can’t be afraid of new people and new experiences. Some of the best moments of our lives are found in those experiences. So what it didn’t work out with him? That just means it’s supposed to work out with someone else. You’ll never get to your happy ending if you close the book in the middle of a sad chapter. We often overlook the good lessons that failed relationships leave us with and that’s a deeper understanding of ourselves and our tolerances. You’re better this go around, a lot wiser, and hopefully more refined. Take that with you and use it to be better with and for your next!
Work on your Passion
The one trade off in relationships that no one discuses and you don’t realize until you’re knee deep in them, is how you end up dedicating less time to those things you were passionate about before your guy entered the picture. Women have a natural tendency to cater to the needs of others and it often leads to us neglecting the needs of ourselves. What do you love to do? What were you doing when he was “just getting to know you”. Get back to those things! Passions turn to purpose and that’s often the thing we feel as if we’ve lost when we experience a breakup, our purpose. But I promise, it’s still inside. You just have to do some digging to find it!