Netflix just released Self Made: Inspired by the Life of Madam C. J. Walker, a limited series told over the course of four episodes. The story details the the life of the woman, the pioneer, and the mogul. It depicts how she relentlessly overcomes obstacles placed in her path. One of those obstacles was a rivalry between Madam C. J. Walker and Addie Monroe, a fellow black hair dresser during the time whose envy threatened to destroy everything Madam C. J. Walker built, on more than one occasion.
I thought about two things after watching this series. The first was how often we as women harbor resentment for one another for features that are truly out of our control; like being born with darker skin, softer hair, or striking bone structure. The second was how we use our God given features to foster a spirit of inclusiveness or exclusiveness in sisterhood.
I summed up some nuggets that I took from this series that helps us all be a better sisters to one another because there’s no height we can’t reach when we work together. Enjoy!
God made the choice, we’re just a product of outcome.
Being a woman of color is such a complex thing to be. We come from a history that based the treatment we would experience in our communities on the amount of pigment in our skin. Typically, there was the notion that if you had a lighter complexion skin tone, you were treated with more favor and stood a better chance at achieving high socio-economic equality. And, if you had a darker complexion, you were often overlooked and disregarded and stood little to no chance of having a high social standing. In the series, Sarah says, “Everybody wants a light bright gal with silky hair. You and me we gotta work harder, be smarter, and get rich”. Many would say that there is still some truth to these notions today.
However, the beautiful thing about waking up each day is that we get to choose if we are going to continue those narratives with one another. We get to choose if we will have the courage to call out the disparity in treatment when we see it. And we get to refuse to be a participant in that treatment, regardless of where we fall on the color spectrum because God made the choice and we’re just a product of outcome.
We get more done when we get along well.
Even with the internet at our fingertips, we cannot do it all. And contrary to popular belief, we don’t know it all. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about people who do things well is that it usually didn’t happen overnight. Often times we try to convince ourselves that we can do things just fine enough on our own. For the most part, that’s probably true. But there’s a difference in producing something that’s “just fine” and something that’s great. That difference is usually found in our skills and abilities. When you get along well in the sisterhood, your skillset becomes an asset of your sister and her skillset becomes an asset of yours. In turn, you both help each other grow and accomplish more, together.
You can run the same race, but have different lanes.
One thing that really stuck out in this series was how defensive we can get when we feel threatened and how vicious we can be when we don’t deem our competition worthy. I know we’ve all had those moments where we feel like some people are just too close for comfort and borderline trying to duplicate and remix a talent they borrowed from our closet. But, when you think about it, there’s really nothing new under the sun. There’s just millions of people, doing a select number of things, a million different ways. Get comfortable in your lane and focus on how to best run your race. We have a tendency to become consumed with how someone else is doing something and an even nastier habit of trying to belittle them in some unrelated way. Don’t be that sister. Become so consumed with how you do something and how you can improve it everyday. Remember, even if you’re in the same race as someone, you’re never in the same lane. Don’t tear down what others have built and stay focused on yours.
Sisterhood can be your greatest asset.
When you take care of your assets, they take care of you in the long run. Sisterhood is one of those things we have the ability to facilitate with one another every day regardless of where we may happen to fall on the color spectrum. This world already has so many chips stacked against us and so many roadblocks set out on our path as a collective. It almost becomes imperative to have real and genuine connections all the way across the board. We are the greatest empathizers on earth. What greater joy is there than knowing that there is either someone who came before you, that looks like you, or had a similar life experiences as you, and made it to a place of freedom and success? When you lock in early, you realize how many women are on plights similar to your own and how much advice they have to offer about how you can do it and avoid some of the lessons they had to buy. You also gain the ability to pass on what you acquire. When we harbor a spirit of inclusivity based on our common plight as opposed to exclusivity based on our outward appearance, we prosper.
XOXO
Elayne MeShell